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Archive for December, 2019

8 Habits of Mentally Strong People

While it’s not possible to avoid negative states of mind entirely, some people are better than others at identifying what’s going on in their own head, processing their emotions and then moving on.

By Christina DesMaraisContributor, Inc.com
Getty Images

Think of a time when you’ve felt frustrated, anxious, afraid, angry or heartbroken. It’s a not a place anyone wants to remain because these feelings are uncomfortable. While it’s not possible to avoid negative states of mind entirely, some people are better than others at identifying what’s going on in their own head, processing their emotions, and then moving on. Here are several ways mentally strong people conduct themselves.

1. They don’t ruminate

It’s when you revisit something that bothers you, thinking about it over and over again. Mentally strong people go to the source, fix the problem if possible and then stop stewing about it. They know that continually rehashing any situation is a waste of time.

2. They give strangers the benefit of the doubt

Spend enough time out in the world and you’ll encounter people who do things you wouldn’t — driving badly, speaking badly, or otherwise behaving badly. But there’s always a back story you’re not privy to. Maybe the guy who cut you off in traffic is trying to get to the hospital where a loved one is sick, giving birth, or about to die. Mentally strong people don’t let themselves get annoyed by the imperfections of others.

3. They practice and hone their willpower

The temptation to indulge in the wrong things or to not do the right things is common to all of humankind. Whether it’s fasting, exercising, or avoiding certain situations, mentally strong people understand that nearly every battle is won in the mind.

4. They choose their friends carefully

Drama-makers or negativity-broadcasters are kryptonite for anyone who wants to be solid-minded. Mentally strong people know that these energy vampires ruin a person’s sense of peace.

5. They practice generosity

Miserliness grows out of fear. Mentally strong people don’t worry about not having enough for themselves. They trust themselves to know their future is secure.

6. They’re good at empathizing

In other words, they’re emotionally intelligent and good at figuring out how and why people behave a certain way. For example, mentally strong people can see that the individual who drones on with lengthy stories is really looking for others to validate their worth. Or, they can discern when someone isn’t great at dealing with emotions, and adjust their own responses accordingly.

7. They take care of their bodies

How you feel physically certainly affects how you feel emotionally. Mentally strong people have a habit of daily exercise, are not prone to overindulgence, and are disciplined regarding what kinds of things they put into their mouths.

8. They don’t hold grudges

Just take a look at the bitter people in life. The hurts and grievances they can’t let go of are like a disease that hinders their ability to be happy, productive, confident, and fearless. Mentally strong people understand that with forgiveness comes freedom.

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S  T  E  V  E  N    R.    G  E  R  B  S  M  A  N                                              Kentfield, CA USA

December  2 0 1 9

Dear Family, Friends and Colleagues:

As my next birthday is rapidly approaching in February, I have been pondering how to best celebrate and commemorate this ‘landmark occasion.’

I am immensely grateful for all the blessings that I have been fortunate to have received, and I am deeply thankful to all of you who have been with me on this long journey with your unwavering love, friendship, comfort and support.

I am also keenly aware of the fact that there are so many out there who have tirelessly and bravely served us all, who have not received the thanks and support they so richly deserve.

Therefore, I would like to dedicate the celebration of my big birthday year to the support of our ‘Wounded Warriors’, Special Operations Warrior Foundation (”SOWF”) https://specialops.org see detailed information, many of whom continue to struggle tremendously to heal their myriad wounds and return to a normal life after putting themselves into harms-way in service for us all.  Special Operations Warrior Foundation is a Four Star Charity on Charity Navigator.

We may well think that these heroes are well taken care of by the institutions in which they served. But unfortunately, that is only true in a limited sense, and their need for assistance continues to be great and manifold.

I have this month established an assistance fund with a seed capital in the amount of $10,000, which, with your help, I would like see grow to an initial goal of $75,000 by February, and hopefully beyond that. All funds will be deposited directly with “SOWF”, which has been successfully and faithfully supporting our wounded heroes special needs.

The Special Operations Warrior Foundation’s enduring promise to America’s Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marine Corps Special Operations personnel is to:

(1) Ensure full financial assistance for post-secondary education from an accredited two or four-year college, university, technical or trade school, as well as educational counseling, preschool grants, and tutoring to the surviving children of Special Operations personnel who have lost their lives in the line-of-duty and,

(2) Provide immediate financial grants to severely combat-wounded and hospitalized Special Operations personnel and their families.

Accordingly, in place of a grand and costly 75th birthday celebration, I would like to ask you all to help support my Special Forces Wounded Warriors fund with a generous donation of your choice, and which will help us meet and hopefully exceed our funding goal, in support and thanks to the valiant men and women who have dedicated their lives to our safety and security.

To participate, please send any donation in the following manner:

To make a donation:

Let me thank you in advance for considering my request and your generous support for such a worthy cause that is dear to my heart and, I feel is a grand way to celebrate and commemorate my upcoming birthday.  Please email me to insure your donation was received.

With my very best wishes and gratitude, yours,

Steve Gerbsman

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Don’t make these embarrassing style mistakes at your company’s holiday party.

By Lauren A. RothmanStylist and fashion expert
Getty Images

Tis the season for festive fashion faux pas at the office. Whether you’re attending your own company soiree or will be someone’s plus one, make sure to keep your holiday inspired ensembles on point. While dress codes have shifted to be more casual at some companies, holiday attire should still be appropriate.

Party invites are out for the season and champagne towers will be high. Consider these events a form of networking for the job you want, not just the one you have. While you mingle with both senior management as well as employees you oversee, avoid making these embarrassing style mistakes.

Don’t be a “Sexy Santa.”

Office holiday parties are not an opportunity to cut your hemline in half or reveal too much cleavage. Guys, this goes for you too. Keep your dress shirts buttoned and pants shouldn’t be overly fitted. Your boss and coworkers don’t need to see you in leather head to toe, baring your midriff, or in excessively platformed high heels.

Do dress like a regular work day, make sure your clothing fits well and is not too tight, sheer, revealing or inappropriate.

Don’t overdress.

If you haven’t been hired to dress in costume, don’t. Leave your Hanukkah Harry and Santa gear at home. Festive inspired holiday wear is different than novelty style touches.

Do wear a red velvet tie or colored outfit like the one below and save your festive onesie to win best-dressed at your neighbor’s Ugly Sweater party.

Don’t be too wacky.

Office jokesters beware. Do not be the person who carries portable mistletoe or wears clothing that lights up like a christmas tree and jingles. Chances are high alcohol is free flowing, do not add to the mix with an obvious flask of eggnog or by wearing a drink guzzler helmet.

Do keep novelty fashion to a minimum and stick to a couple statement accessories. If you must, don a reindeer headband like the one below, or single light up holiday necklace.

Don’t be too flashy.

There is such a thing as too much sparkle. Have fun with the holiday spirit, but there’s no need to pair sequin shoes to a matching dress for an office luncheon. Feathers are fun on sleeves or even on a bowtie but leave the boa at home.

Do opt for fun shoes and jewelry for the ultimate icebreaker while you network your way around the buffet.

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During this holiday season, a friend asked who was the most influential person in your life.  Without hesitation I said my “Grandma Sarah”.

Grandma Sarah was a wise woman.  She was born in Greece, grew up in Turkey and emigrated to the US in early 1900’s.  She raised 4 children as a single mother and was an “entrepreneur”, owning four retail flower stores in and around New York City.  Her words and guidance had an effect on all who knew her.

Please see below “Grandma Sarah’s Words of Wisdom, which I continue to pass along to my Grandson and others.

Words of Wisdom from Grandma Sarah

  1.  Go forth into the world with “Bravery”
  2.  Fear NO ONE
  3.  Always do the “Best you Can”
  4.  Have “Ethics and Integrity
  5.  Ask for “Help” in school, in business and in life if you need it
  6.  Live Life – “For the Integrity of your Name”
  7. Always “Support and Love of your Family”
  8. “Have HOPE for the Future”
  9.  Always remember – “Your Name is your Bond” and “Your Bond is your Name”

With loving memory, honor and respect for Grandma Sarah

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